fear of failure. fear of what others think. fear that my best is not enough. fear of relationship. fear of the future. fear of repeating the past mistakes. fear of responsibility. fear of missing out. fear of life going on without me. fear of rejection. fear of not being needed. fear of being forgettable
as i live in fear- who am i becoming? someone who try's too hard, but never enough- constantly molding according to others wants/desires- not letting anyone too close
in my fear i run to 'others' that will never fulfill me like:
1. accomplishments: doing well in school, participating in church, working out-too much or not enough
2. food: eating because i feel bored, anxious, tired or not eating when i want control
3. guys (thinking about relationships): who i need to be, who he should be, always on the look out for 'the one'
4. friends: valuing their opinions too much-losing self, going to them first
in going to the 'others' first i am left feeling: alone, deserted, wanting more, ugly, never enough. i am living in my fear and believing so many lies of who/what/how i need to be and my desires for 'more' are lost in the 'others'
i need to- no i must- saturate myself in TRUTH!
in the TRUTH of who and whose i am- the TRUTH of who God is and His plan.
to live in the TRUTH i must: read it. know it. memorize it. remind myself. ask for help.
"Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free..." -John 8:32
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