Desire

What are my desires? Am I living my life to just do what is right or to just do what others tell me? If I continue to do this I will not know my desires. I will not really be living. To desire is to risk. To desire means to be hurt. But to desire is to live. What are my hopes? What are my dreams? Do I even know, or do I just know what others want me to do? What am I afraid of ? What is the worst that could happen? Living a life without desire is worse than whatever is stopping me from desiring. So much worse. So this is it. I’m putting my heart out there:

I desire love, romance, beauty. I want to be desired, chased, pursued, and enjoyed. I want someone to see something in me that makes their heart skip a beat or put a smile on their face.

I want to be known. To really be understood, cared for and loved. Even with all of my mess-ups and weird habits, I want to be known.

I desire an abundant life. A full life. A life worth living. I want to make the most of every opportunity and not miss out. I hope to get out there, to change my world, to impact someone’s life.

I desire Christ. I want to know Him, to really understand who He is. I want to be passionately in love with Jesus for Jesus. I want to be bold and speak of Him and live for Him. I desire for God to use me, for Him, however He wants, but I want it to be big for Him. Bigger than I can dream.

I don’t want this world to hold me back. I don’t want money to stop me. I don’t want possessions to stop me. I don’t want the American dream to stop me. I don’t want to get comfortable, I don’t want to be normal.

I long to stand out. To be different. To be noticed. To be loved. For God to be glorified. To live and shine thru me. Not for me, but for Him alone.

These are my desires. There are more below the surface, but this is a good start.Knowing these desires, how must I live? How can I live out these desires? I can stop. Stop letting the world dictate my behavior, let go of those tv series, let go of the obsession with my weight, my obsession with guys. I can start to live. To truly live. I can read my Bible, read the Gospel, get to know Christ. Share my heart, my desires with others. Risk. Reach out to other people, to strangers, even to friends.I don’t want to miss out, so what am I waiting for?

Lord,

Please help me to trust You Lord. To really trust You and know that You have the best in store for me so I can let go my desires and give them to You. Help me Lord God to stop letting the world dictate my actions, behaviors, and choices. It is not easy Lord, but I do not want to keep missing out on You. On life. Help me to learn more about You God. To live out my desires, to risk, to reach out, to be hurt, and to run to You Lord. I love You Lord, help me to obey You. I can’t do it anymore God. I can’t fake it, I need You. Thank you for being there for me God for caring, loving, and being so faithful to me. Thank you that when I mess up or forget You will forgive me and pick me back up. Lord please give me the strength to live for You Lord, for Your glory alone.

Amen